Thursday, August 5, 2010

Ugh!

It's been one heck of a week already, and we just passed the halfway mark.  My stepdaughter had been here visiting but went home this past Saturday.  We had some rainy weather, and man alive did my fibro flare up!  Yeah, well needless to say, pain and anger go hand-in-hand with my flare ups - don't know if it's the bipolar kicking in or just regular reactions to the change in weather causing the flares.  

I'm a little concerned because I'm having pain on/in my belly where my OmniPods have been placed in the past.  I really think I am going to call the company today and ask about this; I've called my CDE but have had no luck getting her to call me back so far.  I see her next week, but I'm so OCD that I want answers right now... rofl  Yesterday, when it was time to change my pod, I placed it on my right upper thigh - so far, so good.  I haven't caught it or bumped it on anything, which is a small miracle considering how clumsy I am these days.

In a bit, I'm headed to the chiropractor.  I hired a new one last week - nothing against my old chiro at all except for the fact that it was a rare occasion when he manually adjusted me, and the pain was not relenting at all.  =(  I took a chance going to this new chiro, but he has worked wonders in just the past week or so.  My mid-back still is painful and "locked up", but with each session, it gets a little better.  I enjoy the traction, and during my last visit, they did ultrasound to help with the locked up muscles and joints in my mid-back.  I'm hoping they will do it again today, and then I think I will go tan before heading home for a nap.

Lately, I've been feeling off kilter.  Little things get to me more than they should, and I've found myself either being angry or crying.  I'm keeping notes so that I can talk to my doc next time I go see him.  I'm afraid that my cycling is not changing much with my new med - I don't know if he will up the dosage or try something else, but there's got to be a solution out there somewhere.  I just know that I would give everything I possess to have one pain free, worry free, happy-go-lucky day.  I really think getting myself a horse would solve some of the problem, but there's no money for that, especially with Shawn's child support being raised over $300/month.  That in itself is stressful enough without thinking about the rest...

At any rate, my fibro has been flaring, and it's leading to some fluctuations in my bg readings.  It seems like one minute, I'm hypo - then the next, I'm hyper.  I can't seem to find a good middle ground.  My muscles are tight, and I'm irritable.  Something's gotta give, and I'm hoping that today, my adjustment will work out...

Y'all have a blessed day - hope you have fun plans for the weekend.  My nephew will be here this weekend, so we'll be spending some family time with him.  He's so adorable, and my sis-in-law and Pais are the best of friends, so I'm liking the photography factor real well right about now...

Monday, August 2, 2010

Living with an invisible illness: Fibromyalgai

I received this via a Facebook message and had to pass it on... after reading this, I was in tears.  Finally - someone understands!


Living with an invisible illness: Fibromyalgia

Well here goes......

If you were born with healthy genes, you may know me but you don't understand me. I was not as lucky as you. I inherited the predisposition to chronic pain, fatigue and forgetfulness. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia (FMS) after months, years or even decades of mysterious physical and emotional problems. Because you didn't know how sick I was, you called me lazy, a malingerer, or simply ridiculous. If you have the time to read on, I would like to help you understand how different I am from you.

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT FIBROMYALGIA

1. FMS is not the newest fad disease. In fact, it isn't a disease at all, and it isn't even new. In 1815, a surgeon at the University of Edinburgh, William Balfour, described fibromyalgia. Over the years, it has been known as chronic rheumatism, myalgia and fibrositis. Unlike diseases, syndromes do not have a known cause, but they do have a specific set of signs and symptoms which, unfortunately for the patient, take place together. Rheumatoid arthritis and lupus are also syndromes.

2. The many physical and emotional problems associated with FMS are not psychological in origin. This is not an "all in your head" disorder. In 1987, the American Medical Association recognized FMS as a true physical illness and major cause of disability.

3. Syndromes strike life-long athletes as viciously as they do couch potatoes. They can be disabling and depressing, interfering with even the simplest activities of daily life.

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME

1. My pain - My pain is not your pain. It is not caused by inflammation. Taking your arthritis medication will not help me. I can not work my pain out or shake it off. It is not even a pain that stays put. Today it is in my shoulder, but tomorrow it may be in my foot or gone. My pain is believed to be caused by improper signals sent to the brain, possibly due to sleep disorders. It is not well understood, but it is real.

2. My fatigue - I am not merely tired. I am often in a severe state of exhaustion. I may want to participate in physical activities, but I can't. Please do not take this personally. If you saw me shopping in the mall yesterday, but I can't help you with yard work today, it isn't because I don't want to. I am, most likely, paying the price for stressing my muscles beyond their capability.

3. My forgetfulness - Those of us who suffer from it call it fibrofog. I may not remember your name, but I do remember you. I may not remember what I promised to do for you, even though you told me just seconds ago. My problem has nothing to do with my age but may be related to sleep deprivation. I do not have a selective memory. On some days, I just don't have any short-term memory at all.

4. My clumsiness - If I step on your toes or run into you five times in a crowd, I am not purposely targeting you. I do not have the muscle control for that. If you are behind me on the stairs, please be patient. These days, I take life and stairwells one step at a time.

5. My sensitivities - I just can't stand it! "It" could be any number of things: bright sunlight, loud or high-pitched noises, odors. FMS has been called the "aggravating everything disorder." So don't make me open the drapes or listen to your child scream. I really can't stand it.

6. My intolerance - I can't stand heat, either. Or humidity. If I am a man, I sweat...profusely. If I am a lady, I perspire. Both are equally embarrassing, so please don't feel compelled to point this shortcoming out to me. I know. And don't be surprised if I shake uncontrollably when it's cold. I don't tolerate cold, either. My internal thermostat is broken, and nobody knows how to fix it.

7. My depression - Yes, there are days when I would rather stay in bed or in the house or die. I have lost count of how many of Dr. Kevorkian's patients suffered from FMS as well as other related illnesses. Severe, unrelenting pain can cause depression. Your sincere concern and understanding can pull me back from the brink. Your snide remarks can tip me over the edge.

8. My stress - My body does not handle stress well. If I have to give up my job, work part time, or handle my responsibilities from home, I'm not lazy. Everyday stresses make my symptoms worse and can incapacitate me completely.

9. My weight - I may be fat or I may be skinny. Either way, it is not by choice. My body is not your body. My appestat is broken, and nobody can tell me how to fix it.

10. My need for therapy - If I get a massage every week, don't envy me. My massage is not your massage. Consider how a massage would feel if that Charley horse you had in your leg last week was all over your body. Massaging it out was very painful, but it had to be done. My body is knot-filled. If I can stand the pain, regular massage can help, at least temporarily.

11. My good days - If you see me smiling and functioning normally, don't assume I am well or that I have been cured. I suffer from a chronic pain and fatigue illness with no cure. I can have my good days or weeks or even months. In fact, the good days are what keep me going.

12. My uniqueness - Even those who suffer from FMS are not alike. That means I may not have all of the problems mentioned above. I do have pain above and below the waist and on both sides of my body which has lasted for a very long time. I may have migraines or hip pain or shoulder pain or knee pain, but I do not have exactly the same pain as anyone else.

I hope that this helps you understand me, but if you still doubt my pain, your local bookstore, library and the internet have many good books and articles on fibromyalgia.

Author's note: This letter is based on communications with people throughout the world, males and females, who suffer from fibromyalgia. It does not represent any one of the over 10,000,000 people with FMS, but it can help the healthy person understand how devastating this illness can be. Please do not take these people and their pain lightly. You wouldn't want to spend even a day in their shoes...or their bodies.

Author unknown......