These past couple of weeks have presented me with several challenges and led to more than a little frustration.
Seems I ended up sick last week - dehydrated and all - and was in awful pain, which led to a frustrating day spent at the hospital ER before getting sent home late that afternoon. I also had to set aside my Dexcom SevenPlus CGM for now. The pain from my fibromyalgia was so severe and not getting any better that I had to take off my CGM and begin taking my old pain medicine again (which contains acetaminophen); part of my pain in the ER was due to the "pain management specialist" giving me medication containing ibuprofen, which is a huge no-no considering the severity of my GERD. In a way, I miss the comfort that my CGM gave me because I always knew ahead of time when I was going low - but I sure am sleeping better without the alarms going off during the night and waking me up lol.
Fast forward two days, and there I was at the chiropractor's office enjoying my time with the TENS machine, after getting a much-needed adjustment, when one of my (now ex-) friends walked in complaining away to the chiro. When I teased her about it, she turned around and rudely mocked me in front of the chiro and other patients, criticizing me for my "so-called" fibromyalgia symptoms and making fun of my "so-called" pain. Needless to say, our friendship is now over (after ten-plus years of ups and downs along with me putting up with the rude behavior that I chose to overlook until now). I guess I've finally had it with my so-called "friends" being rude and downright nasty, and I'm standing up for myself - although not without some hesitation and fear, along with a quivering stomach and feelings of nervousness... I'm saddened by the loss of a friendship (which is also probably coming with a relative or two of mine), but I feel like I'm starting to regain lost ground and getting to re-explore areas of my life that I had forgotten about long ago when I started allowing others to set boundaries for me, rather than setting them for myself. It's a unique taste of freedom that I'm tentatively enjoying the flavor of...
Fast forward two days, and there I was at the chiropractor's office enjoying my time with the TENS machine, after getting a much-needed adjustment, when one of my (now ex-) friends walked in complaining away to the chiro. When I teased her about it, she turned around and rudely mocked me in front of the chiro and other patients, criticizing me for my "so-called" fibromyalgia symptoms and making fun of my "so-called" pain. Needless to say, our friendship is now over (after ten-plus years of ups and downs along with me putting up with the rude behavior that I chose to overlook until now). I guess I've finally had it with my so-called "friends" being rude and downright nasty, and I'm standing up for myself - although not without some hesitation and fear, along with a quivering stomach and feelings of nervousness... I'm saddened by the loss of a friendship (which is also probably coming with a relative or two of mine), but I feel like I'm starting to regain lost ground and getting to re-explore areas of my life that I had forgotten about long ago when I started allowing others to set boundaries for me, rather than setting them for myself. It's a unique taste of freedom that I'm tentatively enjoying the flavor of...
This week, I took a bigger step and established with a new doctor - yet another move that I feel like I've been forced to take - after seeing the same doctor for the past 10 years or more. I really like my new doctor - but I'm not looking forward to talking to my old doctor about the change I've made and explaining why I made that decision. However, after having an insulin refill refused along with a fibromyalgia medication refill refused as well, the time has come to stand up for myself and demand that I be given the treatment I've been paying for all these years. I don't consider myself a hard patient to care for; I've waited four hours or more to see my doc without even one complaint or comment - but when a nurse takes it upon herself to refuse my medication refills "because she feels like I don't need them" without consulting my doc about it, especially with both of them being vital medications - I think it's my duty to step up and inform my doctor about what's going on in his office and why I've made the decision to see another doctor. No use baby stepping around the issue when it's vital to my health (right?) - and I have no room for a nurse who is given the liberty of refusing refills using her own judgment without any action being taken in regards to her behavior. My old doctor is already aware of her refusing to refill my insulin when I first started using my pump and needed more - refusing to refill my fibromyalgia medication happened yesterday, and luckily my new doctor stepped up to the plate and refilled it for me. The pharmacy has informed my old doc of his nurse's refusal to refill my meds as well, but I doubt those notifications are getting through since they are being faxed to the office and not emailed or phoned in to him specifically. I'll continue to see him for annual exams as well as for pain medication needs (until I'm established with a pain management specialist out of town), and then my visits will gradually taper off to emergencies and annual visits only. I feel like a part of my life is ending because I've known my doctor just about all my life and am friends with him and his family outside of his practice - but I don't feel right about having to call him when he is on vacation and off duty just because of the behavior of one of his nurses - and I'm anything but a troublemaker. (Consider me a little mouse in the corner, squeaking occasionally. rofl)
On that note, our family reunion is this weekend - and I'm swearing off being the family peacemaker this year. I've gotten to the point that it is making me physically sick - along with adding unneeded stress to my life - and I just can't continue that role anymore. I'm honestly disgusted with my Christian family members carrying on the way that they have in the past and think it's past time for them to act like the Christians they claim to be - walk the walk and talk the talk, so to speak - not just choose one or the other... (And for any family members who read this - instead of getting mad and making trouble over what I've written, come to me privately, and we can talk - don't call me out and try to make a fool out of me. I WILL embarrass you if the matter is not handled appropriately.)
I hate that things have come to this point, but I guess the whole theme of this post centers on challenges we are presented with in life and how we handle them. I can't continue the road I've taken in the past; I've got to start down a new path and worry about my health and my peace-of-mind instead of always putting others' needs and wants first. The challenge has been put in front of me to be a role model for my child, and I want to show her how to stand up for herself while still being a loving Christian girl. Lord knows I need all the prayers I can get, what with everything that's been going on lately...
I hate that things have come to this point, but I guess the whole theme of this post centers on challenges we are presented with in life and how we handle them. I can't continue the road I've taken in the past; I've got to start down a new path and worry about my health and my peace-of-mind instead of always putting others' needs and wants first. The challenge has been put in front of me to be a role model for my child, and I want to show her how to stand up for herself while still being a loving Christian girl. Lord knows I need all the prayers I can get, what with everything that's been going on lately...
Please send some prayers my way if you happen to read this - and thanks ahead of time for not making any hasty remarks or uncalled for comments... I hope you understand why I've chosen to handle the challenges placed before me in the manner that I am; thanks ahead of time for your thoughts and prayers.
